Crazy Sexy Update: Week One

WARNING: This article contains over-sharing. Over sharing about poop, and other things.


Day Two:
Today I felt lame, really lame. Tired, out of sorts, exhausted – this wasn’t helped by the fact that I spent all day craving food that wasn’t what I packed in my to-go lunch and dinner bag since I was working away from home all day til 8. Working hard at work while working hard at detoxing is FREAKIN’ hard work, let me tell you.

Day Three:
Today was fine until I went a little off script for dinner – I was just going to not eat until I got home, but when I got there I was so hungry, and I’d never been to a sushi train before, so I incorrectly thought they might have some brown rice options, but alas they did not. So white rice was eaten, but otherwise I ate crazily and sexily. And I felt fabulous too!

Sunday Correspondence: A Letter to My Skin

Dear Skin,

I’m writing to apologise. I know you were enjoying the extra care I’d been giving you the last few weeks, and it was really nice to see you being clear and gummy again. You were glowing!

Then I decided to go on a cleanse. We’d been getting some reports from digestion that it would be necessary to do so soon. Now you’ve got an itchy rash happening and pimples are coming up from so deep they possibly originated in our soul. Your job is hard enough without rogue toxins trying to escape through you and me piling on cloggy make up to disguise them.

You’re much more important than I give you credit for. Sure, I praise you when you look good on my face, but I still paint all over you to “improve” what you’re trying so hard to create. You do so much more than just look good though, you sweat, heal when I hurt myself, make Goosebumps when it’s cold, hold my insides, uh, inside. And just when I start making some effort to repay you for all the hard work you do I decide to pump a crap-load of crap out through you to “detoxify” my body.

I hope it’s worth it, not just for my sake, but also for yours, because not having all of that toxic waste around should make it a lot easier for you to do your job and look fabulous while you’re doing it. I also promise I’ll continue to give you the products and support that you need throughout this long process, and will try not to wear too much make up where possible. I would like to remind you about how I’ve stuck with my “no sunburn in 2011” resolution, and assure you that my new pledges will be just as successful as this one has been.

I speak for all of us here at Ell-Leigh when I say we want you to know that you aren’t going through this detox alone and that we’re here if you need someone to talk to. As you know a body is full of complex systems that have to support each other to function, and although it may feel lonely, out there, away from the digestion and cardiovascular organs, we want you to know that we appreciate your work and recognise that the last week has been hard for you.

Sincerely,

Management
(Ell-Leigh’s Brain)

Dear Skin,

Guess what? Today, at a skin care shop, the consultant called you normal. Did you hear it? “Let’s see, your skin type looks pretty normal…” she said. Well, wasn’t I chuffed! I mean; normal! What a first.  

We do not have such a kind recent history, you and I, and I’m sorry about that. You were never quite what I wanted you to be, and I’m pretty sure I didn’t treat you quite how you would have liked, either. You see, I always dreamt of having that glowingly clear, porcelain type skin, the kind that people liken to a baby’s bottom. You, well, you were not quite that; I can most certainly assure you that my face cheeks have never been compared to those of an infant’s posterior. I’ve kind of really resented you for that, which in hindsight is not really fair, because how did you know I wanted you to look like bottom? You’re a face. Yes, Skin, I’d say we hit a bit of a rough patch during puberty, and it was more than just a case of simple miscommunication.  

Too oily in some places, too dry in others, too sensitive all over, over the past few years I’d label you passable at the best of times, at the worst downright awful. It’s hard to remember a time as a teenager that I wasn’t constantly on the alert for the pimples you grew on my face, both driving me crazy and being generally humiliating. I can, in fact, remember the very first one there ever was. I was only in Grade Six at school (so young!) and I remember a boy asking me what it was. “It’s just a pimple,” I tried an air of nonchalance. The reply? “Wow. Geez.” Yes, geez indeed.

Of course, I wasn’t exactly helping you out with my icecream scoffing, chocolate adoring* ways, was I? I was intelligent enough to understand that my diet, what it contained and what it lacked, was inextricably linked to the condition of you, Skin. With this nutritional knowledge I didn’t really change my ways, though, I just kept hating you and the seeming injustice of it all, eating more chocolate and icecream and sometimes icecream with chocolate, all the while your condition continuing to worsen.

Skin, for a long time, I regarded you almost as an enemy, which is not really so positive with you being my body’s largest organ and all. It wasn’t our best time, and I suggest we put it behind us, Because, you know what? Things are getting better now. I mean, obviously, since someone looked at you today and decided that you looked perfectly normal and all. Puberty’s over, and suddenly, thankfully, I don’t have to worry about you so much anymore, which leaves a surprisingly large void in my time. I’m beginning to realise just how much of my thoughts have been focussed on you, so tied up you were in every aspect of my life. From eating to sleeping to what make up I used and how I could cover the blemishes up, how much I was stressed and whether certain types of exercise made you look worse or better, I could take you into consideration with nearly every decision made.  

On the positive, now, not only do I have a lot of free time to do things other than frown at the mirror, but I also have a really good knowledge of nutrition, how my body operates and my specific needs and what to look for in friendly, natural ingredient based skin care products. I’ve finally come to my senses and eased up a bit on the icecream/chocolate scenario, adding more raw veges and large amounts of detoxifying lemon water to my diet instead.

Without having to try and ‘fix’ you, I wouldn’t have become so interested in healthy living, and I’m pretty grateful that you guided me down that path. Also, not growing up with the snazzy looking, bum-like skin I wanted made me think about the other things that made me attractive and acceptable, things a bit more permanent than my looks.

Skin, I haven’t been too nice to you and I’m sorry. You do your best, I know you do, and I promise to keep doing my best to help you out as well. We make a pretty good team, you and I. Tonight, I drink a big cup of pure old water in your honour.

Cheers Skin.

Lauren  

*For the doubters out there: during that time I single-handedly proved that for some of us (me, at the very least) chocolate definitely is linked to skin blemishes. I used a system of trial and error, the trial and error both ending up being the eating of copious amounts of chocolate, and the evidence undeniably pointing toward chocolate being an awfully terrible choice for my skin. So...there!

Special Guest Post: Pretty faces... A Lush Product Review.

image found at lush junkie forever

Being a Lush first timer can be a bit tricky, especially when all of the products look like bars of soap and the staff are all too busy with other customers to show you the ropes. With tubs of potions lining the walls and more bath bombs than you can jump over Lush can be a little intimidating if you don’t have anyone to introduce you to some of the wonderful products their store offers. So never fear, as Ell-Leigh and a special guest writer (her charming sister Stevie) have reviewed some products so you won’t break into a sweat or fall victim to a panic attack when you feel as though the bubble bar table is caving in on you. No matter your skin type, we’ve got it covered, since I, Ell-Leigh, have a fairly normal to dry skin type, where as Stevie has a oily skin which is “riddled with angst”... So that's why this article might seem a little - two-faced! ha.

Ell-Leigh reviewed;

Oatifix Fresh Mask
Although it may look as though you’re wearing the make up that accompanies the role of “The Leper” in a primary school Easter play, your skin will be both joyful and triumphant as ‘Oatifix’ resurrects your face. After five to ten minutes with this mixture of oats, banana, vanilla, almonds and other super ingredients on your skin, it will be moisturised, soft and your tummy will be making the rumblies that only a hot bowl of porridge can satisfy. Enjoy looking stunning while eating your oats, and repeat in 3-4 days.

Full of Grace Serum Bar
Having been recommended an earlier Lush serum bar by Lauren, I tried this with high expectations, and I wasn’t let down. Although it feels lightly oily at first, it quickly sinks into the previously tired dry skin leaving it happy and beautiful. After a few uses blemishes on my face seemed to be healing a lot quicker, some even over night. Warning: Keep this product in the fridge (and away from hot hair straighteners) as it melts really, really easily. Conclusion; if you want that gorgeous pregnant glow without the trouble of actual offspring, finding someone to sleep with you or those messy paternity tests, get thee one of these serum bars, pronto.

Baby Face Cleanser
My face can get really dry. It’s dry naturally, and when I’m driving around a lot the car air conditioning doesn’t do me any favours. I thought I was using the most gentle cleanser available, and thought that the dry, almost scaly patches on my cheeks were just my cross to bear, but then here came Baby Face to the rescue. It takes off make up in a flash and cleans up blemishes in a single bound. If the thought of your face feeling a little oily after cleansing makes your insides squirm a little, skip this one and find an alternative, otherwise, if you’re sick of dry tight cheeks and sallow looking skin, quick spot to the Lush store to get this little life saver.

Stevie reviewed;

Cupcake Mask
Alright, lets start off with the mask-of-all-masks. Although slightly reminiscent of cookie dough, but more like mud (wait...it is mud), this mask is amazing for oily/teenage/in a love-hate relationship skin type. I may be slightly reserved when it comes to putting mud on my face in most situations, but with this stuff the more the merrier! Best applied with something other then your fingers (this stuff is a pain to get out from under nails), slather over all and any problem areas. It may leave you looking slightly like a cupcake, but who cares?! This stuff is worth the possible humiliation (this includes mud wrestling jokes). Better then any clay mask, this stuff helps calm the red tones in your complexion while reducing breakouts and oil levels. The day after you will wake up looking calm and collected. Apparently all my skin has ever been asking from me is for me to get down and dirty with it (dirty, mud - you see what I did there!). For really oily skin use twice a week.

WARNING!: This stuff seriously gets everywhere (or that could just be me) so put it on over a sink. Also, when you start getting to the bottom of the pot, the mixture becomes thicker and less moist so a bit of water can get it moving again.

Tea Tree Toner Tab
These little guys have saved my life. I love them. They say 'for toning teenage, troubled and traumatised skin', and man, was my skin traumatised before it met these hotties. Now life without them would be traumatic. Best used before a mask and after cleansing, if you have the stamina for it they can also be used EVERY SINGLE FREAKIN DAY!! How amazing is that. Also, the water afterwards can be saved and used as a toner/refreshing mist, so it's like two products in one. With a generally calming effect (for both your skin and you) expect to feel like you've just taken a nice hot shower and now you're just waiting to hop, skip and jump into bed (not that I condone such behaviour).

WARNING!: This product does involve the use of steam, so try not to burn yourself with it. That's just no fun.

Coal Face Cleanser
Although this cleanser does smell mostly like liquorice (which I despise - no black jelly beans for me, thanks) and leaves my face 'squeaky clean' (literally), it does actually work. Getting the bubbles going can sometimes be a problem, and if you are having a breakout this stuff can dry those areas up just a bit too much sometimes, but in general the Coal Face Cleanser is brilliant to use. No need for double washes, use this cleanser once and you are done. Also, there is no risk of spillages. That's right, this product is spillage free! Coming in a handy bar form this baby can go anywhere! (Are you sold yet?)

Enzymion
The 'Fruity moisturiser to liven up oily skin'. Although this may look like 'just another cream', with a lovely citrus-y scent and 'happy' feel, it is anything but. On your skin it is fairy light and great for mopping up the oil before you put on makeup. You don't need much, just a dab or two and you're done, so a tub of this stuff will go the distance. Sinking into your skin the moment you put it on, it's like you're wearing nothin' at all (nothin' at all....nothin' at all. Stupid sexy Flanders).