Peter Pan Syndrome

Lauren Says: 

I think I’ve decided I’m Peter Pan. I think I don’t want to grow up.

Here’s my thinking:

Growing Up

Pros:

Have Money – Have Security – Have Freedom – Have Relationships – Have Holidays – Have Achievable Goals – Have Schedules – Have “Grown Up” Parties – Have more than $3.99 per bottle Wine – Have Organic Veges – Have Retirement to Look Forward To

Cons:

Health Deteriorates – Eyesight Fades – Hearing Goes – Closer to Dying – Feet Widen – Boobs & Bottom Sag – Go to Bed Early – Can No Longer Apply for Youth Programs – Are No Longer ‘Future Of Tomorrow’ – Potential Lessens

The thing with this pro/con list wonder up above is that, while all appears evenly balanced on both sides and that growing up is a ‘well, you may as well’ cut and dried matter, it is not actually so. While the cons list is fairly certain and predictable, yes my body will age and I will lose the benefits of youth, the pro list is actually made up of non-certain events, which in turn means that the pro list actually doesn’t exist. There are no pros to growing up! Think about it. I may not have more money when I’m older than I do now. My goals may remain allusive and I may never achieve them. I may not ever be able to/be given leave to retire (by the way, future, I am SO retiring, get prepared for it). All this means is that while there are a stack of negative aspects to aging, there are no definite positives. So, I don’t wanna.

Have you ever heard a person, after a good, relaxing holiday say “Oh I just feel thirty-four again!” No, you haven’t. Because they all say twenty-one. Currently, I am twenty-one years old. Catch my drift? I have exactly ten weeks and six days to find Never Never Land before I turn twenty-two and begin the long, slow, drain-circling process of my aging.

Perhaps it’s that I’ve suddenly realised how good I’ve got it (did I ever mention that the place I rent has FOUR TOILETS? My life is sah-weet!) or that I’ve finally come to terms with what ‘aging’ is actually going to entail. Once, at the gym I used to attend, the instructor ladies made up an exercise where we all stood on one leg and lifted the other to the side while we bent over. The point to this? Most of the women who were over forty at the gym could no longer put on underwear without sitting down. I LOVE STANDING UP TO PUT ON UNDERWEAR.

Whatever the reason, I’m suddenly wishing there was a way to pause time here and go with what I’ve got. I’m healthy. I earn plenty of money for myself, in a job I don’t despise (now there’s a feat), and work only part time so that I get most of my time to write. I’m sure technology will advance, and quickly, but I’m ok with where things are now, and medically we’re doing reasonably well. I’m free to travel. I have access to books, movies, television, theatre, music, magazines…entertainment options galore. I have great friends and a loving family. I feel no need to change anything.

Wisdom, they say, is the ultimate perk of growing up and older. Wisdom and perspective. Well, what if I said I wanted wisdom and perspective now, hey, what then? A wise person in a twenty-one year old yoga body…imagine the things that could be done! This was supposed to be an article about other people’s ‘Peter Pan Syndromes’ and how everyone needed a swift shove into the direction of taking responsibility and behaving like adults, but when I got to some self examination I realised it wasn’t other people that had a problem with growing up, it was me.  

Yes, it may all be a bit morbid, and tomorrow I might wake up aching to turn thirty, have a kid and earn lots of dough as the head chiefy person at some sort of workplace. But today you can call me Peter, for uncertainty fazes me and old age scares me and I’ve a lot to do while I’m young and care free, including finding a means to stay that way. 

Here I stand, my silhouette challenging the moonlit world! Out of my way, oldies!